Review: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Directed by: Brett Ratner
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, & Patrick Stewart
Runtime: 104 min.
Rating: PG-13
Trailer
When a film is poorly received, it has become fashionable to lay the blame on the director. If you agree that the director is the sole author of the film and therefore bears full responsibility, whether or not the film does well, then alas, blame Brett Ratner. Yet, the reason X-Men: The Last Stand, the (hopefully) final instalment of the superhero saga previously helmed by Bryan Singer, is so bad is directly the result of some horrible screenwriting and poor directorial choices on Ratner’s part. Both conspire to end one of the best superhero franchises of the last 20 years in a rushed, embarrassing whimper.
The story picks up where the previous film left off, after the death of Jean Grey. Still grieving, Scott (aka Cyclops), turning into more of a sad sack than he already was, heads off to the lake where Jean Grey perished and lo and behold, she comes back to life as an angry psychic called The Phoenix, a mutant even more powerful than Xavier and Magneto. The Phoenix sides with Magneto and his army as a means of destroying the mutant cure, a small boy (Cameron Bright) who has the ability to “cure” the mutant X-gene and thus turn mutants into ordinary human beings. Should the mutants accept the cure so they can live out their lives as “normal” human beings, or reject the cure because nothing is wrong with them in the first place? A storyline as interesting and morally complicated as this offers weighty issues that are not typically relegated to films with characters named Wolverine and Storm.
Yet, the screenwriters completely bungle this outline and end up turning it into patchy mess that seems frightened to engage its subject matter. Instead of having the characters mine through shades of grey on the issue, which would create conflict and interest – essential ingredients in a well-told drama – the screenwriters choose moral absolutes. Where is the conflict in that? The Rogue (Anna Paquin) scenario, which provided a sad counterweight to the giddy enthusiasm of procuring superhero powers, is so badly handled that it is amazing Anna Paquin agreed to reprise her role at all. Possessing a power to kill by touch alone, restricting her from connecting physically to the people around her, specifically with her romantic crush, Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), her storyline is briefly mentioned in the beginning before completely disappearing from the film altogether. Characters in X-Men: The Last Stand are constantly being cheated out of their full character arcs.
In an ill-advised flashback that directly opens the film, Professor Xavier and Magneto arrive at the house of a young Jean Grey in an effort to persuade the preteen to accept training for her special psychic powers. Again, another interesting setup wasted on indulging in some eerily weird special effects applied to Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen to make them appear younger than they really are. Ultimately, I don’t understand why the scene is included at all, but I have the sneaking suspicion it remained in the final film to pad the miniscule running time.
What we are treated to is a grab bag of inconsequential plots and subplots with no organising thread or logic. Ratner and the screenwriters choose to linger on random characters, including introducing new mutants, which seems a tad desperate this late in the game. Uninspiring action scenes and some less than enthusiastic character portrayals (most notably Halle Berry as Storm and Hugh Jackman as Wolverine) results in a rushed and deflating climax. X-Men: The Last Stand is not only the worst film in the franchise, it’s one of the worst films of the year, made even more disheartening because the broad storyline conceived had strong potential. I guess the blame ultimately has to lie solely on Brett Ratner. I mean, he did agree to direct this nonsense.
Richard X
© Cinephile Magazine, 2006
I agree. This was definitely one of the worst movies of the year. It’s funny though, no matter how crappy it was, I was still somewhat engaged…maybe cause I thought SOMETHING would happen. I could not believe that it ended 104 minutes in. Although to be honest, it felt much longer than that just due to the m?lange of mutants they tossed in. And the whole bridge-moving sequence? What was the point of that? Ah well, Brett Ratner continues his streak as a hack.
SS
I totally agree. I thought something would happen. Something that might have redeemed the movie, but it never came. Also, you can tell that the actors looked bored and embarrassed to be involved.
i’m a comic fan from way back, especially the x-men.. which for me, floods my brain with memories of happier times. when i was younger, i always thought “hey, i’d LOVE to see all these x-men jump out of the comic book and onto the big screen! ya! that would r0×0r!!11! that would be 1337!!!” .. little did i realize at my young age, was that the more characters from a comic-book fantasy world that you have thrown onto the big screen, the more TIME you need to PROPERLY tell their story .. the more EFFORT you need to put forward to give these characters a flicker of resemblance to their original biographies that made them masterpieces. I consider Batman Begins a true character study.. we understand WHY Bruce Wayne dons his costume.. WHY he does what he does, what he believes in .. we shared his story WITH him. (does anyone remember the Never Ending Story??) he wasn’t just some schmuck in a bat costume . (for the love of everything, please tell someone to fire Halle Barry). which is exactly what happened to the X-Men on the big screen ..all of them… a bunch of schmucks in costumes. IMHO, in a story as complicated as the X-Men, you need to educate the uneducated because the world of comics and movies are two separate pistons in the engine of entertainment. Whats the first thing people think about when they hear the x-men? I bet its not whats at the heart of their story .. and I don’t mean fighting and cool powers. I’m talking about racisim, prejudice and among many other things, the harsh reality of a world where people fear that which they don’t understand. Im talking about individuals coming to terms with their own selves, trying to find out where they fit in a world that makes them feel segregated and alone .. when i saw x3 .. the first thing that made me cringe was simply the amount of heros that were in this movie. (beside the fact that i was already cringing at the end of part 2 because someone haphazardly decided to throw the Dark Phoenix into the mix of things … a story which in its own right is an epic mishmash of StarTrek, StarWars, Aliens, and the Clash of the Titans all rolled into one thriller of an action packed, romantic comedy — not to mention that they utterly and completely destroyed the true story of the Phoenix Saga). unfortuantely, whoever was responsible, decided to ride on the coat-tails of the popularity of the x-men to make them an easy buck. the x-men franchise turned into the old batman and matrix franchise ? Started out with a bang and turned into one massive, mighty, freefalling turd-wich. Dear lord … I hope they don’t do this to IronMan.